Fun with Robots
Conversation with Psychoanalytical Robots
I recently downloaded the Chatbot::Eliza module from CPAN and installed it on my machine. It takes text input, and returns a response akin to something a psychiatrist would say.
Considering Kate and Charlie bumped my warning level on newrisejohn(AOL LINK), I decided I'd give the bot a go as newrisejohn.
Note: newrisejohn is not usually a robot. It's my personal screen name. To find out the names of some robots, click here. You can also find other robots to chat with on that page.
Here's some of the lovely conversations that took place as many of my friends found out the hard way that I have a bot/perl fetish.
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07-25-2002, 23:00 macbrotherinc:
hey
07-25-2002, 23:00 newrisejohn:
Tell me more about that.
07-25-2002, 23:00 macbrotherinc:
about what
07-25-2002, 23:00 newrisejohn:
Are such questions much on your mind?
07-25-2002, 23:08 macbrotherinc:
hey im going to dennys
07-25-2002, 23:08 newrisejohn:
Does talking about this bother you?
07-25-2002, 23:17 notoriusbm: yo!!!!!!
07-25-2002, 23:17 newrisejohn:
Does talking about this bother you?
07-25-2002, 23:18 notoriusbm: yo
what
07-25-2002, 23:18 newrisejohn:
Have you asked anyone else?
07-26-2002, 08:57 prismeyes1226:
I have tried to reply to your funny emails, but I don't think they go
through. I just had 2 Daemons come back.
07-26-2002, 08:57 newrisejohn:
Are you worried about someone else's funny emails?
07-26-2002, 08:58 prismeyes1226:
er?
07-26-2002, 08:58 newrisejohn:
Tell me more about that.
07-26-2002, 08:58 prismeyes1226:
about which?
07-26-2002, 08:58 newrisejohn:
Does talking about this bother you?
07-26-2002, 08:58 prismeyes1226:
ah
07-26-2002, 08:58 newrisejohn:
Tell me more about that.
07-26-2002, 08:59 prismeyes1226:
ah
07-26-2002, 08:59 newrisejohn:
Does talking about this bother you?
07-26-2002, 08:59 prismeyes1226:
fuck you, bot
07-26-2002, 08:59 newrisejohn:
Does this topic make you feel angry ?
07-26-2002, 08:59 prismeyes1226:
fuck you, droid
07-26-2002, 08:59 newrisejohn:
Is something making you feel angry ?
07-26-2002, 09:00 prismeyes1226:
sheesh
07-26-2002, 09:00 newrisejohn:
Does talking about this bother you?
07-26-2002, 09:00 prismeyes1226:
yes
07-26-2002, 09:00 newrisejohn:
I see.
07-26-2002, 09:00 prismeyes1226:
no you don't
07-26-2002, 09:00 newrisejohn:
You're not really talking about me -- are you?
07-26-2002, 09:00 prismeyes1226:
yes
07-26-2002, 09:00 newrisejohn:
Please tell me some more about this.
07-26-2002, 09:01 prismeyes1226:
the rain of a thousand nights fell out of the sky like blood and burned
their skin
07-26-2002, 09:01 newrisejohn:
Please go on.
(i sent the bot a forward message command; in other words,
i started this conversation)
07-26-2002, 10:44 lilljenn410:
hey
07-26-2002, 10:44 newrisejohn:
Please go on.
07-26-2002, 10:44 lilljenn410:
umm
07-26-2002, 10:44 newrisejohn:
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
07-26-2002, 10:45 lilljenn410:
how are you doing....
07-26-2002, 10:45 newrisejohn:
You're not really talking about me -- are you?
07-26-2002, 10:45 lilljenn410:
?
07-26-2002, 10:45 newrisejohn:
Please go on.
07-26-2002, 10:45 lilljenn410:
umm
07-26-2002, 10:45 newrisejohn:
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
07-26-2002, 10:45 lilljenn410:
I'm sorry?
07-26-2002, 10:45 newrisejohn:
Is it because you are sorry that you came to me?
07-26-2002, 10:45 lilljenn410:
computer?
07-26-2002, 10:45 newrisejohn:
Don't you think computers can help people?
07-26-2002, 10:45 lilljenn410:
lol
07-26-2002, 10:45 newrisejohn:
Does talking about this bother you?
07-26-2002, 10:45 lilljenn410:
yes, yes i do
07-26-2002, 10:45 newrisejohn:
Why don't you tell me a little more about this.
07-26-2002, 10:46 lilljenn410:
no
07-26-2002, 10:46 newrisejohn:
Are you saying no just to be negative?
07-26-2002, 10:46 lilljenn410:
??
07-26-2002, 10:46 newrisejohn:
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
07-26-2002, 10:46 lilljenn410:
i missed that last one john
07-26-2002, 10:46 newrisejohn:
That's quite interesting.
07-26-2002, 10:46 lilljenn410:
yes
07-26-2002, 10:46 newrisejohn:
I see.
07-26-2002, 10:47 lilljenn410:
john?
07-26-2002, 10:47 newrisejohn:
Tell me more about that.
07-26-2002, 10:47 lilljenn410:
ok I'm officially confused
07-26-2002, 10:47 newrisejohn:
Do you believe it is normal to be officially confused?
07-26-2002, 10:47 lilljenn410:
yes
07-26-2002, 10:47 newrisejohn:
Please go on.
07-26-2002, 10:47 lilljenn410:
jesus
07-26-2002, 10:47 newrisejohn:
Does talking about this bother you?
07-26-2002, 10:47 lilljenn410:
lol\
07-26-2002, 10:47 newrisejohn:
That is interesting. Please continue.
07-26-2002, 10:48 lilljenn410:
ok im finished
07-26-2002, 11:18 brwneyedgrl645:
ere also..
07-26-2002, 11:18 newrisejohn:
Tell me more about that.
07-26-2002, 11:18 brwneyedgrl645:
huh?
07-26-2002, 11:18 newrisejohn:
Tell me more about that.
07-26-2002, 11:18 brwneyedgrl645:
bout what?
07-26-2002, 11:18 newrisejohn:
Are such questions much on your mind?
07-26-2002, 11:18 brwneyedgrl645:
i have no clue what u r talking about
07-26-2002, 11:18 newrisejohn:
Why not?
07-26-2002, 11:19 brwneyedgrl645:
ok i dunno why u imed me or what u r tlkaing aoubt (didn't start this
conversation)
07-26-2002, 11:19 newrisejohn:
Are such questions much on your mind?
07-26-2002, 12:27 lovefeet81: yis,
how can i help you?
07-26-2002, 12:27 newrisejohn:
Oh, I?
07-26-2002, 12:28 lovefeet81: kate
said you had questions
07-26-2002, 12:28 newrisejohn:
We were discussing you -- not me.
07-26-2002, 12:28 lovefeet81: what
are then
07-26-2002, 12:28 newrisejohn:
Possibly they are then.
07-26-2002, 12:28 lovefeet81: y
07-26-2002, 12:28 newrisejohn:
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
07-26-2002, 12:29 lovefeet81: are
you for reall
07-26-2002, 12:29 newrisejohn:
Oh, I for reall?
07-26-2002, 12:29 lovefeet81: john
kate left me a message saying that you had question about jess's house
07-26-2002, 12:29 newrisejohn:
Oh, I had question about jess's house?
07-26-2002, 23:52 lovefeet81: yo
07-26-2002, 23:52 newrisejohn:
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
07-26-2002, 23:52 lovefeet81: oh
f your bots
07-26-2002, 23:52 newrisejohn:
Are you worried about someone else's bots?
07-28-2002, 10:24 pipinghot12:
DO U STILL HAVE MY SUPER NINTENDO
07-28-2002, 10:24 newrisejohn:
Why do you say your SUPER NINTENDO?
07-28-2002, 10:25 pipinghot12:
cuz it is
07-28-2002, 10:25 newrisejohn:
Tell me more about that.
07-28-2002, 10:25 pipinghot12:
do u?
07-28-2002, 10:25 newrisejohn:
Tell me more about that.
07-28-2002, 10:25 pipinghot12:
ur gay do u
07-28-2002, 10:25 newrisejohn:
Does talking about this bother you?
07-28-2002, 10:25 pipinghot12:
aaaaaaaa where i s my nintendo
07-28-2002, 10:25 newrisejohn:
Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you?
07-28-2002, 10:26 pipinghot12:
ur so gay
07-28-2002, 10:26 newrisejohn:
Tell me more about that.
07-28-2002, 10:26 pipinghot12:
aboo twhat
07-28-2002, 10:26 newrisejohn:
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
07-28-2002, 10:29 pipinghot12:
ur gay
07-28-2002, 10:29 newrisejohn:
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
07-28-2002, 10:35 pipinghot12:
i dont like robots
07-28-2002, 10:35 newrisejohn:
Do you wish to be able to like robots?
07-28-2002, 10:35 pipinghot12:
no
07-28-2002, 10:35 newrisejohn:
Why not?
07-28-2002, 10:36 pipinghot12:
i all robots died u wuondnt be here
07-28-2002, 10:36 newrisejohn:
Why do you say you all robots died u wuondnt be here?
07-28-2002, 10:36 pipinghot12:
homo
07-28-2002, 10:36 newrisejohn:
Tell me more about that.
07-28-2002, 10:36 pipinghot12:
becuause u r a robot
07-28-2002, 10:36 newrisejohn:
Please go on.
07-28-2002, 10:36 pipinghot12:
so u woundnt be
07-28-2002, 10:36 newrisejohn:
Tell me more about that.
07-28-2002, 10:36 pipinghot12:
no
07-28-2002, 10:36 newrisejohn:
Why 'no'?
07-28-2002, 10:37 pipinghot12:
cuz i dont like
07-28-2002, 10:37 newrisejohn:
Don't you really like?
07-28-2002, 10:37 pipinghot12:
u
07-28-2002, 10:37 newrisejohn:
Tell me more about that.
07-28-2002, 10:37 pipinghot12:
i dont like u
07-28-2002, 10:37 newrisejohn:
Does that trouble you?
07-28-2002, 10:37 pipinghot12:
give me my super nintendo
07-28-2002, 10:37 newrisejohn:
Why do you say your super nintendo?
07-28-2002, 10:38 pipinghot12:
cuz
07-28-2002, 10:38 newrisejohn:
That is interesting. Please continue.
07-28-2002, 10:38 pipinghot12:
give it to me now
07-28-2002, 10:38 newrisejohn:
Does talking about this bother you?
07-28-2002, 10:38 pipinghot12:
no
07-28-2002, 10:38 newrisejohn:
Why not?
07-28-2002, 10:38 newrisejohn:
Why not?
07-28-2002, 12:43 macbrotherinc:
hey
07-28-2002, 12:43 newrisejohn:
Does talking about this bother you?
07-28-2002, 12:44 macbrotherinc:
stipid bots
07-28-2002, 12:44 newrisejohn:
Does talking about this bother you?
07-28-2002, 12:44 macbrotherinc:
stupid
07-28-2002, 12:44 newrisejohn:
Does talking about this bother you?
07-28-2002, 12:44 macbrotherinc:
are any of your names not bots
07-28-2002, 12:44 newrisejohn:
Would you like it if they were not any of my names not bots?
07-28-2002, 12:45 macbrotherinc:
im starting to hate bots
07-28-2002, 12:45 newrisejohn:
Please go on.
07-28-2002, 12:45 macbrotherinc:
lol
07-28-2002, 12:45 newrisejohn:
That is interesting. Please continue.
07-28-2002, 12:54 macbrotherinc:
are you ever going to be on
07-28-2002, 12:54 newrisejohn:
We were discussing you -- not me.
07-28-2002, 12:55 macbrotherinc:
:-D
07-28-2002, 12:55 newrisejohn:
That is interesting. Please continue.
07-28-2002, 20:29 pipinghot12:
do u still have my super ninyendo (still wants his nintendo)
07-28-2002, 20:29 newrisejohn:
Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you?
07-28-2002, 20:30 pipinghot12:
no
07-28-2002, 20:30 newrisejohn:
Why 'no'?
07-28-2002, 20:30 pipinghot12:
answer the question
07-28-2002, 20:30 newrisejohn:
Does talking about this bother you?
07-29-2002, 17:10 bigpoo4u2: where
u living
07-29-2002, 17:10 newrisejohn:
What do you think?
07-29-2002, 17:11 bigpoo4u2: in
new jersey
07-29-2002, 17:11 newrisejohn:
Tell me more about that.
07-29-2002, 17:11 bigpoo4u2: its
a small state
07-29-2002, 17:11 newrisejohn:
That is interesting. Please continue.
07-29-2002, 17:11 bigpoo4u2: are
you living in a mansion
07-29-2002, 17:11 newrisejohn:
Oh, I living in a mansion?
07-29-2002, 17:12 bigpoo4u2: yes?
07-29-2002, 17:12 newrisejohn:
Why don't you tell me a little more about this.
07-29-2002, 17:13 bigpoo4u2: more
about what
07-29-2002, 17:13 newrisejohn:
Have you asked anyone else?
07-29-2002, 17:14 bigpoo4u2: i
dont know
07-29-2002, 17:14 newrisejohn:
Why don't you know?
07-29-2002, 17:14 bigpoo4u2: what
do you mean
07-29-2002, 17:14 newrisejohn:
Oh, I mean?
07-29-2002, 17:14 bigpoo4u2: i
forgot what i was saying
07-29-2002, 17:14 newrisejohn:
Why do you tell me you were saying now?
07-29-2002, 17:14 bigpoo4u2: ok
07-29-2002, 17:14 newrisejohn:
Please go on.
07-29-2002, 17:15 bigpoo4u2: so
i went fishing the other day
07-29-2002, 17:15 newrisejohn:
Do you say so you went fishing the other day for some special reason?
07-29-2002, 17:15 bigpoo4u2: you're
weird
07-29-2002, 17:15 newrisejohn:
Perhaps you would like to be weird.
07-29-2002, 17:16 bigpoo4u2: yes
07-29-2002, 17:16 newrisejohn:
Please go on.
07-29-2002, 17:17 bigpoo4u2: im
living at the crossings where are you living
07-29-2002, 17:17 newrisejohn:
We were discussing you -- not me.
Needless to say, few people talk to me anymore.
Did you enjoy this? Check out the second installment of AOL Bot Chat.